Formal Letter (Descriptive Reflection)
Subject: Self Introduction Email
Dear Prof Brad,
I am writing this letter to you to introduce myself. My name
is Ho Shimin, a year 1 Sustainable Infrastructure Engineering student at the
Singapore Institute of Technology. I graduated from Temasek Polytechnic with a
Diploma in Clean Energy. During my internship at the Land Transport Authority,
I was attached to the bus infrastructure division. Where I was able to gain a
deeper understanding of the infrastructure sector. It helped me gain a different
perspective of the buildings and infrastructures that we have today. This piqued
my interest in wanting to learn more and pursue a career in this industry.
What I would like to gain from this effective communication
class is to tackle my difficultly in conversing clearly and directly. Due to my
lack of confidence, I tend to hesitate a lot and use “wimpy words” when speaking.
Often, it becomes a problem as others have difficulties trying to decipher my
words. For instance, during group projects, due to my way of speech it leads to
misunderstandings that I am not contributing to the discussion. In terms of my
strengths, I would suggest that my ability as an active listener has aided me
in many group discussions. When I attentively listen to others it allows me to
understand their point of view. That way in future conversations I can converse
with them according to their interests. This helps validate them and in turn
forge trust and better communications.
For this module, I hope that I can grow into a better
communicator and improve my usage of words. I believe that this would not only
aid myself but those around me as it would help bring more conversations and
discussions to the table.
Best Regards,
Ho Shimin
Thank you, Shimin, for this letter.
ReplyDeleteI'll give more detailed feedback once more of your peers have commented.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteDear Shimin,
ReplyDeleteUpon reading this letter of yours, it has enabled me to know the link between your previous diploma and the current course that we are taking. Indeed, both are linked to each other and I can see why you are pursuing this course. Surely, the modules that you have learned in your polytechnic will aid you here.
You mentioned about deciphering words. I can totally relate that. It's just frustrating when what we are trying to say or deliver, people misunderstood the meaning. As a result, it might even backfired as some of them might take it as offensive. I feel that this might be the word of choice that we are using.
Overall, this letter has delivered every points. Very clear and concise, straight to the point. Readers can easily understand the content of this letter.
Yours sincerely,
Jin Han
Dear Jin Han,
DeleteThank you for the feedback, it's comforting to know that you also feel the same way about deciphering words. I will make some revisions based on your suggestions!
Regards,
Shimin
Hi Shimin
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing more about yourself. I felt that your content is great. However, it would be great to hear more about yourself like hobbies and how it could help you to improve in your communication skills.
Overall, I love the reflection as it is short and sweet. Apart from that, I get to know you better and understand better what you are facing. Looking forward to working closely with you in class.
Yours sincerely
Joshua
Dear Joshua,
DeleteThank you for the feedback, I will make the necessary changes based on your suggestions. Looking forward to working closely with you in class as well!
Regards,
Shimin
Dear Shimin,
ReplyDeleteIt was a pleasure to read your letter and got to know more about you. I am writing this as a feedback for your self-introductory letter. I’m glad to hear that you gained interest in buildings and infrastructures through your internship.
Firstly, about the content of this letter, your content is great and concrete. You gave great elaborations on your strengths and weaknesses. Overall, you fulfilled the letter’s requirements.
Secondly, the organisation of this letter is not very well-paragraphed as you cramped your strengths, weaknesses and goals into one paragraph. But I think if it connects with each other, it can be easily understandable.
Lastly, regarding the language in this letter, it is really clear and understandable. Your vocabulary used is fantastic. I agree with your point of view about using the wrong words to explain something may lead to miscommunication and misunderstanding. I hope we can improve in our word usage as it is important for effective communication.
Yours sincerely,
Celine Chong
Dear Celine,
DeleteThank you for such a detailed feedback, I really appreciate the time you took to review my formal letter. I will definitely take into consideration of your suggestions when I revise my letter. Hope that we can improve our word usages together!
Regards,
Shimin
ReplyDeleteDear Shimin,
Thank you for this clear, concise intro letter. You address the key requirements of the assignment and add some detail for color. I especially like the way you connect your experience in your internship with your comm skills and needs.
I also appreciate the good fluency in this letter, although there are a couple issues wit sentence structure:
-- Where I was able to gain a deeper understanding of the infrastructure sector. >. (fragment)
-- For instance, during group projects, due to my way of speech it leads to misunderstandings that I am not contributing to the discussion.
due to my way of speech it leads to misunderstandings > (main subject? main verb?) my way of speech leads to misunderstandings
I look forward to learning more from you this term.
Cheers,
Brad
Dear Prof Brad,
DeleteThank you for taking the time to access my formal letter. I will make the necessary changes when I revise my letter especially in regards to my sentence structures. I hope to continue to learn more and improve my effective communication this term as well!
Regards,
Shimin